EFR 800: How to Deepen Your Consciousness, Shift Your Perception of Limitations, and Build Your Dream Life with Peter Crone

00:00 - Speaker 1 The following is an Operation Podcast production. What do you think is the number one thing for most people, keeping them from moving forward in their life today?

00:10 - Speaker 2 Gosh, that's an entire semester of understanding human identity. My work, which is to bring awareness to these primal constraints that we all have in our subconscious and then to transcend those so we can find my main thing, which is freedom. But most people don't know that that even exists, they just think they are a certain way. They have their idiosyncrasies based on their parents and their upbringing, and that's just the way it is and I'm going to do the best I can survive and I the whole premise that humans are sort of innately evil, or that's how we arrive, yeah, without getting into the politics of it.

00:43 I think you know there's a certain manipulation that every authority has out there, but particularly in religious realms, that you are x and you're not y, so I think it's less that we're evil. I think it's actually that, beneath the surface at least, the domain that I speak from call it soul, spirit, consciousness, the absolute, the divine, the kingdom of the lord within you, the buddha, whichever word floats your boat is boundless, it's timeless, it's limitless. The default setting is survival, and survival can come at all sorts of big costs. Hi, I'm Peter Crone. Some of you may know me as the mind architect and I'm very excited to be here on Ever Forward Radio.

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02:57 Hey, what's up everybody? Welcome back to EverForward Radio. I am your host, chase Schooning, army veteran certified health coach and just overall wellness enthusiast. I am blown away day in, day out of what the body can do when we put our mind to it. I firmly believe that where the mind goes, the body will follow, and I live my life by this mantra of ever forward, living a life ever forward. And if you're new to the show and you don't know what that means, my goal for you here today and for anyone and everyone coming back, episode after episode. First of all, thank you. Secondly, the whole point of Ever Forward Radio is to bring messages, to bring guests, to bring a variety of walks of life to the show, to help you learn unique areas of your well-being, physical and mental resilience, to apply, to test, to see how you can keep moving forward in a unique area or all areas of your life, of your well-being. That is what Everford Radio is all about. And today's guest, peter Krohn man, man, does he deliver? You are in for a real treat. I joined in studio by the mind architect himself.

04:12 Our conversation today is going to be peeling back the layers of our inner struggles, dissecting the complexities of self-identity and, dare I say, even the shackles of negative self-perception, negative self-talk. We all have been there. We all probably will get there again, but the important point is that we can now learn how to catch ourself in that negative self-talk, in that potentially negative downward spiral, and pull ourselves back up out of it. Peter's going to be walking us through an exploration of the evolution of relationships, the psychology of self-sabotage and the art of staying focused in the present moment. More importantly, how to understand, identify and overcome any and all subconscious limitations.

04:57 If you'd like to learn more about Peter, I'll have all of his contacts, his website, his social linked for you down in the show notes, as well as everything else we talk about in the show under episode resources, or you can also head to petercronecom. He's got some incredible programs in terms of masterminds, digital programs, things that you can access and self-paced learn and self-paced, get into freedom, move from stress to freedom and live the life you've dreamed of, as he says and this is actually a free mini course. You can get the move from stress to freedom and live the life you've dreamed of, as he says. And this is actually a free mini course. You can get the Move from Stress to Freedom and Live the Life You've Dreamed of. Mini course at petercrohncom. You can check it out.

05:31 I am just blown away by Peter and his approach to life and his vernacular and just his choice of words got me thinking in some really really different, more creative ways. I walked away from this conversation moved and empowered and educated and more curious, and I hope you do the same. Welcome to the show everybody. If you want to check out the video, I have a link for you in the show notes as well. You can find it at everfordradiocom or head over to the YouTube channel subscribe, smash that thumbs up button and watch Peter and I in studio here in Los Angeles. The mind architect, but also the word wizard, the more I have been diving into your work and your content and other podcasts.

06:10 I'm just like I have to rewind just to appreciate the vocabulary and the thought that goes into your descriptions and answers. So just a quick little shout out.

06:19 - Speaker 2 Thank you I appreciate that.

06:21 - Speaker 1 Yeah, the word wizard. I'm changing your brand. I might adopt that whole moniker.

06:24 - Speaker 2 Yeah, no, it's, it's, it's, it's sweet. I often say I traffic in language, so and the reason being that you know one of my quotes is you probably heard me use many of them I say the words of the wardrobe for the soul, and so, obviously, the degree to which you have a bigger lexicon or a greater palette of words, the more outfits you can wear, I guess.

06:49 - Speaker 1 Oh man, and the wardrobe, the outfits, every time I've seen you so? Far, you're always killing it. So the words, the look, it's the whole package here, man, I appreciate it, and so your work that you really kind of help people with is, in my interpretation, getting us to understand, first and foremost, that we can have our dream life. It's just a matter of dissolving some certain things.

07:06 And so I want to ask you my first question is what do you think is the number one thing for most people, keeping them from moving forward in their life today?

07:16 - Speaker 2 Gosh, that's an entire semester of understanding human identity.

07:22 It's really the misidentification with the idea of ourself, right, that I'm this physical body, this meat suit as I often refer to it, but more subtly, more insidiously, that I am the thoughts that I have in my head, right.

07:37 So most people become so associated with this internal narrative that is usually based in sort of insecurity, scarcity, inadequacy, like it's not particularly flattering the way that most people view themselves internally, and so usually that's the biggest obstacle, because even if somebody's proactive meaning that they think they're subtly not enough and then they adapt and cope by becoming a perfectionist or a people pleaser but they're still being defined by the constraint. So that's, I mean, you've really sort of pinpointed my work, which is to bring awareness to these primal constraints that we all have in our subconscious and then to transcend those so we can find my main thing, which is freedom. So, but most people don't know that that even exists. They just think they are a certain way. They have their idiosyncrasies based on their parents and their upbringing, and that's just the way it is, and I'm going to do the best I can survive.

08:32 - Speaker 1 You made me think you were kind of saying how most people we think of ourselves as inadequate or we look in the mirror. We only see our imperfections, or we're always our own worst critic right.

08:43 But there are some people out there that when they look in the mirror, when they have those internal thoughts, they think the opposite, like I'm the shit, I'm killing it, I see it, and I think a lot of people truly believe that, and not from an egotistical perspective, maybe a little. Why do some people just seem to have that level of confidence and the ability to have positive self-talk, positive self-image?

09:04 - Speaker 2 confidence and the ability to have positive self-talk, positive self-image. Gosh, I mean that could be the listening of different things that they've experienced. Oftentimes trauma is the catalyst for awakening. They might be somebody who's been raised by parents who've done a lot of spiritual work, or they might have great therapists, they might have done plant medicine journeys, I don't know. So I think, if we just look at it in terms of like, the default operating system of a human being is the derogatory, you know, that, I feel, is this dimension. That's the opportunity and it doesn't sound like a great opportunity, but that's the possibility that it is.

09:33 To be human is to recognize that, by design, that part of us is founded in constraints and limitation. And the game, if you want to call it that, that of being human, is sort of the quintessential straight jacket of the mind that we're trying to break out of right. So that's the way I look at it. So those people perhaps are either a little further on their journey if we want to get real esoteric, we could say this incarnation is a little further for them. They've, they've been around the block a few times in terms of being human. So they've reconciled a lot of those constraints. Um yeah, it's hard to pinpoint why, other than, as I said, there's a myriad of different means that we can access and hopefully discover in this lifetime to get beyond these perceived constraints. Um, it's they're the people that we rely on, right?

10:19 I I hope at some level to emulate that for people so that they can see what's possible. Like, wait a minute, this guy, orphaned by 17, hasn't had it easy, not left a penny. It seems to be pretty vital and loving life and free and kind and loving, you know. So no one would begrudge me if I became a curmudgeon and I was drinking heavily or addicted to something because life wasn't fair and fuck yous. And so, yeah, I think we we need comparison, right, we need, I think we need both. I mean, all frequencies exist in this domain. Right, we've got the extremes of like love and peace and beauty, and then, sadly, especially the last few years, we seem to have the antithesis. But so I I don't know the answer, but I'm glad that there are people like that out there, because I certainly have relied on them for my own evolution over the years. But then also we need people who struggle so that we can feel that sense of contribution and making a difference to help others.

11:15 - Speaker 1 Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory. Yeah. Surrogatory derogatory derogatory, derogatory derogatory.

11:44 - Speaker 2 Yeah, right, that you are X and you're not Y. So I think it's less that we're evil. I think it's actually that, beneath the surface, at least the domain that I speak from, call it soul, spirit, consciousness, the absolute, the divine, the kingdom of the Lord within you, the Buddha whichever word floats your boat is boundless, it's timeless, it's limitless, and so there is a, I feel, some inherent qualities that exist for that aspect of us which is freedom, love, possibility, self-worth. They're all there, they're all intact. I think what we might become misidentified with and associate as being evil is the part of us that gets developed over time through trials and tribulations, this conditioned self, the human part which is flawed or based in these, in perceptions of inadequacy and insecurity. It's not so much it's evil, it's just it's imperative is to survive. And so if you think about it just from pure animalistic sense, if you're just programmed to survive, then you're going to do whatever you have to to make it right. So on the surface, that can look like really like evil is. You know, it's a.

12:55 It's a tough word, I mean, it's one that I've adopted a little bit more in the last four years with what's been going on, but it's certainly going to look like less than ideal. It's not going to look philanthropic. It's not going to look like less than ideal. It's not going to look philanthropic, it's not going to look kind, it's not going to look loving.

13:07 But I think the more you understand the human disposition we can start to pull a bit more from compassion that everybody's doing the best they can within the limits of their awareness. It's just that most people's awareness is kind of confined. So you know the old expression and with your faith, you know, forgive them, lord. They know not what they do right. And I've used that a few times in my own understanding of some behavior that towards me was really, really hard, really derogatory, really accusatory, you know, in relationship with somebody. And it really caught for me to be a much bigger human and just to be about to listen and understand. Once I got my own sort of personality to one side, that could feel hurt and, you know, picked on and it's not fair, and then I was just left with their pain you know, um, and so yeah, it's, it's, it's a hard, it's a hard pill to swallow, because humans, by design, aren't you know?

14:08 on the surface they're, they're not very free and so they're, as I said, that the default setting is survival, and survival can come at all sorts of big costs what a great little shift there.

14:21 - Speaker 1 Instead of, the default is derogatory, the default is.

14:27 - Speaker 2 Freedom, love, possibility. That's what I want to appeal to in humans. Is that who you are, beyond your idea of yourself, is founded in these beautiful tenants that we really all aspire to, that we're moved by when we see someone on the street that is doing an act of kindness, that we notice and it's like it appeals to something within us. I think I think, at the deepest, deepest level, the real factory settings of who we are as souls and spirits is really founded in the essence of love. But on top of that, the experience of being human is, at times, the antithesis of that which I would assert is part of the design of this dimension, because what a great means to have to develop love, right.

15:11 I often say like if you look at a person anyone, ourselves included you're going to find attributes about yourself that you just inherently like. You know, if it's a woman, she's likes her hair or her eyes or her skin or the shape of her physique, or, for a guy, because he's tall or he's strong, or you know, there's qualities that we can all look at within ourselves that we find favor with. Okay, that's not so difficult to love. But then look at the litany of lists that everybody's going to have about themselves that they don't like, right. Even the things that I just listed, women might not like her hair or skin or eyes or shape, and same with a guy. So the opportunity there for me is, as a human by design being flawed or having what we discern as imperfections we have to develop true love right, because to love the things about yourself that you like is not a challenge. To love the things you don't like about yourself is the opportunity to discover true love. That's good. That's good, yeah.

16:13 So we have to be fucked up in order to develop what we're here to do, which is to reveal the essence of who we are, which is love.

16:21 - Speaker 1 Very true and I actually had down this quote. I heard you say on another show that you can't be held accountable to that which you are oblivious, and I think already that fits so perfectly to what you're talking about. The religious quote from the Bible you know, forgive the Lord, for they know not what they do. Imagine if we kind of just turn that on ourselves forgive, look in the mirror. I forgive you. You don't know what you're doing.

16:43 - Speaker 2 You know this is we can't be held accountable to that which we are oblivious. Can you unpack that a little bit for us, please? Sure, um, and again, that was like most of the things that come through me, and whether I'm channeling them or I have whatever reasons of mine, that has all of these intuitive insights I it has much also to do with myself of like profound forgiveness, right like where we're doing the best we can within the limits of our awareness, as I said earlier. So right now, I don't know how many millions of people around the world still smoke cigarettes, right, and I guarantee you not one of them isn't aware of the fact that, with all the medical research that cigarettes aren't ideal, they're not good for you.

17:22 - Speaker 1 You can't even buy a pack, I think, anywhere in the world without it having massive warnings, graphic warnings, like dead fetuses, things like that just massive skull and crossbones yeah, so it's self-evident.

17:36 - Speaker 2 So then we could argue from the perspective of somebody who might be more judgmental and doesn't really embody that quote, the. Well then, what the fuck are they doing what they know? But look at ourselves, the listener I would invite you to. There's many things you know that you're not doing or that you're doing that you shouldn't, right. So then we start to look at well then, why is it if we think that we're so smart that we still engage in habits that are the antithesis of what we say we're committed to, whether it's working out foods we we eat, it's like I'm going to be really healthy and I'm going to work out, and then the next thing, you know, you're sitting in front of the TV for two hours and eating a pint of whatever it is. Fill in the flavor of your ice cream, right, so? And that's okay. So we start to breed a little bit more forgiveness.

18:19 So the unpacking for me is going back to the cigarette analogy. What that person does know, yes, is that cigarettes aren't great for them. What they're oblivious to, for which they can't be hard accountable, is what are the subconscious constraints, based on the traumas and experiences they went through as a kid, that create the internal sensation of suffering and woe is me, based on their inadequacies and securities. That suffering is something that, by design, as a human, we want to mitigate and escape. They just found it through nicotine.

18:46 For somebody else it might be food, it could be alcohol, it could be smoking marijuana, it could be prescribed medication. So until you get to that root cause, as far as I'm concerned, of these subconscious constraints, which is what I work on with people, then it does beg for forgiveness that you're functioning within a blind spot, albeit you're conscious. Knowing is what I'm about to do. What I am doing isn't necessarily the greatest thing for me, it's not in my favor, but I still don't know why I need it. Or I'm drawn to it because of whatever stress and triggers have just been activated.

19:22 - Speaker 1 Do you think we are addicted to our own suffering? I feel, like most people, there is a subconscious level of awareness that we ignore. We know oh I, I should go move my body today, I shouldn't have another drink, I should not have the ice cream, I should or should not. Whether you say it out loud or think it, I think most people are generally aware what is good for them, but yet, for a lot of the reasons like you just described, we stay in that suffering. Is there comfort in suffering? Are we addicted to our own suffering?

19:57 - Speaker 2 There's for sure familiarity, and when we look at it on a biochemical level, we could argue that it's a degree of addiction. I'd actually go a level deeper and say suffering is the byproduct of the real addiction, which is to the idea of ourself. What do you mean by that? So the you that you are for yourself is the way I phrase it like. So everybody has this, this, you know ego, identity, personality, whatever word you want to use, the when you talk about yourself. So I this, I that, or when you're lying in bed before you go to sleep, oh, I should have done this, I should that dialogue, that conversation is the you that you are for yourself. That's the addiction. It just so happens that that, that personality, that ego ego not in a bad sense, just the identity, how you perceive yourself is founded. Its structure is based in limitation. So that's the real addiction. Suffering is the byproduct of being misidentified, slash addicted to that persona.

20:53 - Speaker 1 Hey guys, listen up. What if there's a way I could tell you that you could get compliments guaranteed? Odds are, if you're listening to this podcast, you're implementing a lot of healthy habits. You're taking care of your mind, your body. What about your skin?

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21:46 Head to calderalabcom and at checkout you can use code EVERFORWARD to save 20% off of any of their amazing skincare products. I can't recommend enough how important it is to have a skincare routine. You don't got to do all the things, but I promise you even just doing one thing like washing your face with a quality wash like the clean slate is going to change the way that you look at yourself and actually doing her largest organ a solid. So if you'd like to check out what Caldera lab has to offer in terms of the men's skincare game, head to calderalabcom, linked for you as always in today's show notes under episode resources, but that's C-A-L-D-E-R-A-L-A-Bcom code ever forward at checkout to save 20%. So then would you say, once we have that level of awareness, true awareness, maybe even consistent awareness, if we are then looking at ourself, we're aware of the self and kind of looking outside, looking in, how is suffering even possible after that point? Because we should then realize oh, that's not me.

22:42 - Speaker 2 Exactly that's liberation. That's why my main product is freedom, freedom from the idea of yourself. That to me, you know, in all the Eastern philosophies, whether they call it Santori as a moment, or Moksha as freedom, or enlightenment, you know, whatever words people might have heard, that to me is the only game in town that's why we're here as humans.

23:05 It's not to amass more followers, more money, six-pack abs and a beautiful partner and a big home and a jet and all of these things are great. Have at it, do it. I love you know. Playing in the material world is fun, but the real game of foot, as far as I'm concerned, is self-liberation, and that's not easy. That's why we rely on each other. That's where the compassion comes in, that's where the patient comes in. That's where the trust and the forgiveness is necessary to realize I'm doing the best I can, given I don't know what I don't know, and then life will one of my bigger quotes that people love.

23:38 I say life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. Please say that again Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free. So meaning, it's not your spouse that pissed you off, it's just life is giving you through what is, in this case, a wife, a husband, a husband, a partner, the dialogue, the behavior that triggered something in you where you're not free. Now, most people don't look at it that way, so then they react and now you're in a fight, and then you don't talk or you get divorced or whatever you do. That's fine.

24:08 That's all part of the human level, but the opportunity is to recognize you're a divine being, you're an aspect of god, you're absolute. There's nothing wrong with you. So then, why are you getting triggered by something Right? So that's the. That, to me, is the opportunity to emancipate ourselves from the constraints with which I assert we arrived. It's not because of dad or mom. You arrived as a sovereign being encased in these fears and these constraints, and you curated the events you need for your life to be able to break free.

24:38 - Speaker 1 That's pretty heady for a lot of people, but that's the way I look at it, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm dropped in with you on that one. That's, uh, that's big. That changes the whole journey right.

24:47 - Speaker 2 Doesn't that change the whole plan?

24:49 - Speaker 1 the, the board of being human I mean, it's not even the same game it's not.

24:53 - Speaker 2 it's an entirely different game because most people again back to the addiction think they are who they think they are, which is based in survival. So you're going to do whatever you need to to adapt, to cope, to strategize, to manipulate your environment to avoid really looking at the very fears that you arrived with, which means you go nowhere. But if you can play the game differently, go okay, that's fine. I mean, look, I run a business, I make a difference, I love to be able to contribute to people I care about. Obviously, I live a life myself, that I want to have certain preferences and comforts. No one's going to begrudge anybody that.

25:26 - Speaker 1 But if that's a focal point, then you're missing the entire point of what it is to be human Makes me think of this quote from Seneca the Stoic we suffer far more in imagination than in reality, and so that, coupled with what we kind of just talked about, this level of awareness around suffering, the question comes to mind for me of does suffering actually exist?

25:50 - Speaker 2 It's a good question.

25:52 - Speaker 1 Or is it just entirely our perspective on our circumstances?

25:55 - Speaker 2 Well, we could say then the bigger question is perspective, truth, right, so suffering is real. The distinction I would make is it's just not true. It's real.

26:07 - Speaker 1 But not true Okay.

26:09 - Speaker 2 So very subtle, right? This is again why I say traffic with language, because you've got to be able to discern the difference, and certainly in terms of vibration of words, right? So it's real that someone's suffering. The catalyst for why they're suffering is based on a non-truth, though uh-huh right, so the suffering might be someone sitting at home right now.

26:29 They're feeling depressed, anxious. Woe is me. Even you know, I help a lot of people in the transition of the potency of suicidal ideation. I obviously don't want them to actually fulfill on it, but to me suicide is one of the most powerful times in a human being's life, if they understand it from the perspective which we're talking about, because it's not that they want to die, it's a part of them wants to die, the part of them. That's the constraint. Yeah, I know it's big wow, wow.

26:52 So, whoever's sitting at home right now, their suffering is real and we and we want to have compassion for that. The difference is the reason they're suffering. The cause, the root cause for the suffering, I guarantee you, is based in an untruth. I'm not good enough, I'm not wanted, nobody likes me, I'm a failure, I'm not going to go, I'm not going to achieve anything.

27:13 You know, the dialogue that creates the suffering is fictitious, not fictitious, and is not there, but it's not based in actual truth. So that starts to again create some space and some levity and some freedom where we can separate ourselves from the narrative, and then that's when the suffering equally dissipates, right? So I mean, I just had a very powerful conversation. I don't work much now with one-on-one people, but with a client just before I got here and you know keeping certain things confidential, but somebody who's a big achiever. She's a mover and shaker in the world and much of her suffering is coming from the occurrence or what appears as though she's either running out of time or potentially wasting time, and that can create stress for a lot of people. But when I point it out but it's only because of your relationship to time you're always where you are and you can't not be there it's just a relationship with time.

28:07 - Speaker 1 I'm already going down a rabbit hole with that.

28:09 - Speaker 2 Sorry, that's yeah, no most people's suffering is because of a dysfunctional relationship to time. That's so relatable. Yeah, that's all it is. Most suffering is based solely on the illusion of history, your past, what you're calling which is really just memory, and then what you're calling the projection of, usually, your history into a future, which is really just that it's a speculation, it's imagination. So then you start to go holy shit, all of my imagination is completely made up by my own mind. So it's real. We have compassion for it. I get it. I meet people in their woe, but I don't leave them there because once I point out that your woe is based on untruths, and when they see that, they see the lies. You can't not see that.

28:52 And then it's like oh my God, I feel so light, suff, light suffering is real, but not true yeah, honestly, I'm done with the podcast, I'm done with that.

29:02 Yeah, wow, um, yeah, and to keep it really specific for people, because for them, I again I really want to speak with compassion for them. It is a truth, right, like if we were to measure all their vital signs increased blood pressure, apathy, cortisol, whatever's going on in their system. There's a biology that speaks to well, this is true, like we can measure this. So it's not that it's not true the semantics or the subtleties important it's, it's based on non-truths, so we could, for that reason, argue, therefore, in the mathematical equation. Therefore, it's not true, yeah, but we, we want to speak to the fact that you, being human, is replete with suffering. It's part of, I mean, you know, I think the first tenet of the four truths, or noble truths of Buddhism, I think, is as human, you suffer, something like that. Someone will correct me.

29:48 - Speaker 1 But yeah, suffering's there, but it doesn't have to be. That's the good thing. Suffering is inevitable. We're only entitled to the work memento mori, I mean a lot of different faiths and belief systems and schools of thought have different ways of kind of saying the same thing absolutely yeah which is kind of comforting if we have all these different walks of life that many people find to ease suffering you know, we're all coming to the same thing, which is pretty comforting, I think and reinforcing of what we're saying.

30:17 - Speaker 2 Right, it's not Peter Crone's philosophy here. This has been a conversation for millennia. You know where people are talking about emancipation, salvation, liberation, freedom. You know, for me, I just freedom is the word I use. You know, it's my platform that I invite people to come and join and find it, but it's, it's to me, as I said, that that's, that's the raison d'etre of being human, that is our real purpose. It's not to amass, leave legacy. Da, da, da. These are all byproducts. These are great, but when you're free, you get to step into those roles with so much more joy and creativity and limitlessness.

30:51 - Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah okay, so understanding all of that yeah, it should be much to understand I will intermission everybody will come back, please.

31:00 - Speaker 2 It's pretty simple. So if you're not Okay, so understanding all of that, yeah, which isn't much to understand Intermission everybody, we'll come back. It's pretty simple. So if you're not keeping up at home, I don't know what's wrong with you.

31:05 - Speaker 1 No doubt someone right now I mean myself included we're kind of having maybe an aha moment.

31:10 And with aha moments, I think the next step is a choice. Is making a choice that well, an unknowing and a reestablishment of relationship to truth. We then decide we'd take action and our life? I have changed my life with something as simple as just making a choice to continue to do something or not continue to do something. Can our life, can our dream life, actually just be boiled down to the ease and simplicity of just making a choice? Does it all come down to?

31:41 - Speaker 2 that as a possibility, yes, but as a. So there's figurative choice and there's literal choice, right? So, again, words are very slippery, right? So you could say, well, choose not to smoke, choose to go to the gym, so that sounds great and it's certainly in the realm of what's available to that person. But figurative choice is what most people are talking about. They're not talking about literal choice.

32:06 So this room, I'm going to assert, is probably like 150, 200 square feet, if that that we're in, right.

32:13 So if this room represents our psyche, the choice points that are available in this room are limited to what we see as being definitive because of the walls in the container, in the container, and that's no different than somebody's personality, right?

32:27 So we're not like we could say, well, I choose to hold my friend's wedding reception here with 250 guests. That's not a choice based on the container that we're in, as a figurative, yes, but not as a literal. So this is where, again, more compassion comes in, because people think they're choosing something and oftentimes this is where they berate themselves because they chose to join a gym to get in shape at the beginning of the year but they didn't fulfill on it, because they don't know the bigger choice points that are being made at a deeper level because of the subconscious relationship they have to their selves, which is based in inadequacy. Therefore, they can't fulfill on something that is actually a value proposition, because that's not how they see themselves at the deepest level so it's really once a choice is made, an alternate timeline also immediately falls into place if it's a genuine choice, okay.

33:17 So we have linear choice, which is you work within the confines of this space, right. So again using this, because I think for people it's very easy to have, or it's easier to have, visual analogies. So this room, they can't see it, but you know, they know that it's a room, there's 200 square feet to play with, let's say, and we could say someone might argue well, I don't like this great pain and da da da, this wood, I want authentic, the best wood from italy, and I'm going to get this beautiful bed from restoration hardware and have frette sheets, 100 thread count, and we could make this right, nice doesn't sound nice so now we're taking the broom and what we're doing is we're improving it.

33:53 And let's just say, just to exacerbate the example for people to really get, that when we came in here, there's mold behind the drywall, we've got shitty carpet with stains and god knows what they were filming in here before, but it was probably x-rated. You know, whatever it is that you come into, a room.

34:07 - Speaker 1 It's a great advocate for my studio.

34:08 - Speaker 3 Everybody, right, yeah, and so we're just all hypothetical claims, by the way, right exactly previous career.

34:17 - Speaker 1 We all had to get here somehow. Operation what?

34:21 - Speaker 2 So anyway, so you've come into this space that is less than ideal and attractive and yet you transform it, you improve it right. That is a choice that you're making. But the thing that people don't understand is those choices occurring so really in my vernacular. They're decisions Because they're decisive, because they're being given by a context which is definitive, so it's not really a choice. Choice is actually the vertical ascension out of a current timeline. It's not in the current timeline. So timeline choices are actually decisions because they're being defined by your own in this case, a wall which is really speaking to the confines of your own psyche. You can't see beyond the limits of your current awareness. Therefore, you don't have access to choices that are on the other side of those. So it's really decisive. So choices is really, oh my gosh.

35:12 I can see that when I was a kid, I learned because I was the youngest sibling and my brother got all the accolades because he was a great athlete or the academic that I had decided at a very young age that I wasn't enough or I didn't matter as much as my brother. I wasn't as special, whatever it is. That became a confining space. So either I became the overachiever or I became apathetic and I had struggles at school because I was fulfilling on my shortcomings. So I could be right, because, again, survival is the number one imperative of the ego. It wants to be right, even if it's, you know, to our detriment, which we see on the streets of every major city. So that kid then was in that world of I'm not enough and fulfilled on it, where we could have coping strategies of again becoming a perfectionist, a people pleaser. But there's no choice there, because you're being defined by the root of which you're unfamiliar or oblivious to so is it really a matter of active versus passive decisions?

36:00 you could, but you could use those words for sure, right so, but I would say, to keep it on point, for people to understand the distinction, at least as I'm articulating it in choice, as decisions happen within a space that you can't see, choices arise once you see the space and see there's actually more space on the other side which is more empowering, right, if we kind of we go that route, because then it's like oh, I didn't actually decide this, so then we no longer feel this compulsion or need to stay latched to this old identity or lifestyle or whatever.

36:31 - Speaker 1 So what, you are liberated to your point of the realization that I didn't decide this, it was just definitive of my circumstances.

36:37 - Speaker 2 It was a byproduct. I would say at a deeper level, without getting too deep, oh we're already deep, we're already there.

36:43 You did decide it for this incarnation, meaning that we have these constraints we arrive with. We then just curate the events, including our parents and the things that we attract, so that we can then mitigate, transcend and overcome these constraints. Right, so it was a deeper decision at an earlier point that we're oblivious to If we remembered when we incarnated. Oh, that's right. For me, particularly, one of my choice points that I couldn't see was that I had a fear of loss. Why, well, my mom dies at seven, my dad dies at 17. No one's going to begrudge me, as an only kid who's orphaned before he's even an 18 year old, that I'm going to have some fear associated with loss anything of perceived value. So the first girlfriend I meet who I fall in love with, what am I going to do? Well, in my case, my compensation was be a perfect boyfriend. What was that really? Speaking to the deeper fear that I don't want her to leave me, right. So there's no choice. So that's an automatic decision based on my survival. Until I saw, oh, my gosh, gosh, until she left me. Fear is will break its own heart right, with self-fulfilling prophecy of the mind. That's real manifestation.

37:41 People talk about manifestation in these highfalutin ways, not realizing. No, you're constantly manifesting. It's just, you're doing it from a place that you're oblivious to and that's why your life isn't working. It doesn't make you a bad person, it's just. These are these oblivious constraints with which you arrived and therefore you keep attracting the same abusive fill in the blank or the same work that isn't acknowledging, you think, your market and your value in the marketplace. And so, until you see these constraints, there's no choice. But when you see them, so for me, I was like, oh my gosh. I realized that I was being driven by the fear of loss again, complete compassion for myself.

38:15 My parents died, but then that's why I was the overcompensatory boyfriend, perfect kind, which is actually not too dissimilar to who I am. But when it's got this underlying sort of murky, manipulative edge to it, which is an ugly word, but that's what we're all doing, you know, and I saw, oh my gosh, I was trying to be the perfect boyfriend, just being me, who she loved. She loved me. She didn't need me to be the perfect boyfriend, just being me who she loved, she loved me. She didn't need me to be peter plus, right, but I was being peter plus, which is actually my relationship with myself, not her.

38:42 That's why most relationships don't work, because people aren't in a relationship with the other person, they're in a relationship with their own view of that person, which is based on their own constraints. So then choice, just to finish it off. Choice kicks in when you realize for me, in this case, using myself the case study that I lived in a world where I was scared of loss, which was really an extension of the fact that maybe I'm not lovable for me and people might leave me. When I realize that's not a truth, that's a story, then I realize I now have a choice and ironically, in this particular case, this girl who had left me and it had been seven or eight weeks, called me within 15 minutes of me having this realization, which speaks to the power of the quantum realm and entanglement theory, because I was, for the first time in our relationship at this point had almost been two years available to her. How fucking crazy is that?

39:31 - Speaker 1 fuck. Um, yeah, yeah that if, if everyone listening, if most people listening or watching right now are not just jaw dropped, nodding their head, I mean, I'm over here raising my hand as well, I felt like so much. What you're just describing was like I was like shit. He's been reading my journal, like has he been re-watching the last like 12 years of my life? Yeah, it's so relatable and so especially. I think to the point of relationships.

39:57 I think one of the best ways we could ever go to, one of the best locations we could ever want to go to, like how can I make my life better? So look at our relationships. Yeah, More particularly, look at, not the person that we are in relationship with, but the person that we are being because of the person in our life yes, correct, and everything you just said.

40:19 It was just like boiled down to what I have lived through in relationship and was the hardest mirror to ever look in yeah, once I had that realization.

40:24 - Speaker 2 It's actually even more subtle than that, because it's not that you're in a relationship with the person that you've attracted, because that person, just like each of us, has many facets, right? I remember being at a speaking at a spring training event where I was talking to this mlb team and one of the speakers that happened to go on before me was talking about genetic expressions, right? So this team was, you know, they were pretty proactive in terms of teaching their guys all sorts of different permutations of being an athlete and a human, and what he said is and to what degree this can be proven, I don't know, but it was a very poignant for me point to listen to is that there's 28 different, 2800 versions of you 2800 different versions as a potentiality based on a genetic expression.

41:05 Right Now, what does that mean? So if Peter Crone, when his dad died and finally I'm by myself because my mom died, I'm like you know what? Fuck life, life's not fair Again my friends probably would have accepted that, understood it, certainly wouldn't have begrudged me, as I said earlier, and I turned to alcohol and I became a drunk or I became somebody who just found comfort in food, so I could be the person who has now psoriasis of the liver and I have terrible skin and I've got type 2 diabetes.

41:29 - Speaker 1 Life was hard. It makes sense that he's wallowing and going through this.

41:33 - Speaker 2 That could be, quote, unquote, one of these figurative choice points. Now, that could be, quote, unquote. What one of these figurative choice points? Now, why it's figurative is because it's not what I did. Therefore it's not an actual choice. Right again, I'll come back to the relationship point, but this is this will help people.

41:46 I, I bought a bunch of domains, for whatever reason, when I was younger. I saw an opportunity to, you know, potentially sell them in the future. Suffice to say I didn't, you know, didn't allow me to retire, but I made a few grand here and there. So there's one guy. He reached out, wanted to buy one of my domains. He happened to live down in Orange County somewhere and he said he was this guy from New Zealand and he imported the best fish and he had this restaurant. He's like, hey, you know, this is why I want the domain, blah, blah, blah, come down and have lunch at my restaurant. I said, okay, cool. So he bought the domain.

42:14 I came down, had lunch and we're chatting about all of these, many of these philosophies that I speak about and the illusion of time and choice. And he's like, well, free will, and. And. And he's like, well, of course we have choice. And I was like so how tell me? And he's like well, I could have chosen for you not to come to my restaurant. I said that's not true. And he's like could have not invited you.

42:36 I could have just bought the domain and then just not mentioned about my restaurant and and I said, yeah, but you know why you still not answering my question. I said that's not true. And he's like of course it's true. I said it's not true and he's like how? And I said because I'm here, I'm here and it like you already actually got it. He's like oh my god. I said everything else is completely fictitious.

43:02 - Speaker 1 Oh my god, I feel like I've got to put this episode out when, like, the new deadpool movie comes out, because I know that's supposedly going to have 8 000, 28 000 different timelines. Okay, I feel like we're having a corollary podcast. Yeah, about the timeline experience of the of humans so.

43:17 - Speaker 2 So to come full circle to the question about relationships and why I said it's more subtle, is that the person anybody's currently dating is the iteration of that being that is appropriate for you and vice versa. That person leaves you, goes on to another ration. They may have obviously certain similarities, for sure they're going to probably look the same and carry the same name and probably cell number, you know. But you get the point, which is based on who we are and the way that we communicate. We are a space, energetically, that affords or usually not how somebody shows up towards us, right, so that. So it gets even more solid. It's not that I'm dating jenny or wendy or you're dating like whoever someone's dating, bill or Dave. It's the version of Bill and Dave that is appropriate for your evolution, based on the way that you view yourself that has, you think, feel, behave in a way that's commensurate with the way that Bill or Dave shows up.

44:11 - Speaker 1 So what if we're listening to this and we have this realization that the person I'm in relationship with is not appropriate for my evolution?

44:21 - Speaker 2 Yeah, that right there. That statement shows me that they are, because the resistance point right Is, even if it's in the moment of realizing that this person isn't for my evolution, that is for your evolution, right? So again, subtle Okay, okay, right. Do you see what I'm saying? So again, I get very specific.

44:44 - Speaker 1 But then does that mean that it might be necessary for their evolution, but that does not also mean that they are meant to stay in that relationship.

44:51 - Speaker 2 No, exactly. So that's where, again, it's the semantics of it, but it's subtle. So they are for your evolution in terms of the realization that they're not for your evolution is for your evolution, and what that looks like is that I get divorced, I move on, I start dating someone else, or there may be the other option, which a lot of people don't look at, is that I get to see that the way that I've communicated is what's giving rise to the way that they're showing up and that, if I shift, be the evolution that's called for. You know, I'll put it this way.

45:20 One of my favorite expressions I gave to a client who was going through a divorce and so to a similar point of this person isn't for my evolution, and she was really struggling and letting go of the person For obvious reasons. Kids were involved. Many, many years, all the memories and experiences, jo, and you know trials and tribulations as well. And I said but you're not letting go of them, you're letting go of the version of you that attracted them, and that's why it's so difficult. Now.

45:49 The irony is in letting go of that version of her. She actually found another version of her that was more commensurate with the person, the person. She thought she was letting go of her partner, and so that gave birth to a new type of relationship which, if you really understand relationships and you're committed to a person, then if you understand the nature of human evolution, you're never with the same person twice. Wow, wow, yeah, yeah, because you're different. It's like I've forgotten who wrote this prayer or saying no man steps in the same river twice, because he's not the same man and it's not the same river. So we're in constant flux, we're always moving. It's just that most people aren't in the level of their subconscious, because those constraints don't usually and I'm trying to change that really get addressed. It's all compensations, it's all strategies or, often, substances.

46:41 - Speaker 1 Okay. So this makes me think kind of keeping in the realm of relationship. The whole point of the show is to help people move forward in life in unique areas to move ever forward and I've kind of been there.

46:53 But I think a lot of people have, or maybe are. They feel like they can't move forward in their life or be into a new relationship. They don't even want to put themselves out there because they're still so caught up about their ex. They're bitter, they have resentment, hatred maybe rightfully so they were screwed over or whatever. How can we move forward when we are already out of a relationship through kind of this lens of understanding that it's not the them?

47:21 that we're still so bitter with. It's the version of us that was betrayed or broken by them exactly.

47:26 - Speaker 2 Well said so, then we'd have to look at if we wanted to be really powerful, who, who was I in the face of that relationship where I got betrayed? Who was I energetically that allowed for that?

47:37 - Speaker 1 Right, because there's not to say it was my fault. You know like oh, it's not, she cheated on me, it's my fault, right?

47:43 - Speaker 2 No. So we want to get out of the realm of judgment. Right, as I said, we want to keep leaning into compassion and forgiveness, in the way that we don't know what we're doing until we do Right. So that's so, it's not fault. But if you want to be powerful, you have to recognize it is responsibility. So, in ways that I might not have understood whilst I was in the relationship, the person I was in the way that I thought felt, communicated my body language. All of the actions that I took was an extension of the me that I was at that time, and that will be 100% commensurate with the outcomes that I got, including how my partner behaves. So it doesn't make either of us a bad person. But if you want to come from the perspective of this objective understanding, then you get to be responsible, which is actually empowering.

48:25 Otherwise, you're a victim of something, and being a victim is a lie and that's why it hurts, because you're actually a sovereign being who's curating your life experience. You might not know why, but you're not here to understand that. You've made the choices already. You're just here to actually reveal them so that you can continue to evolve. That's an entirely different take. Yeah, so when you look back in order to let go of quote unquote, you're calling the hurt, the bitterness or whatever it is, the the blame and the finger pointing. Then you have to recognize if you want to be powerful, you want to be free that whatever transpired in that relationship, no one was at fault. Invariably it's all with the best of intentions, especially if it's a romantic relationship. People fall in love. They do the best they can. They have all of these dreams and aspirations. It's adorable.

49:06 We rely on it for movies and songs it is adorable right, it is adorable, yeah, and that we are equally, as I tell people, you're a masterpiece and a work in progress, right? So there's always things to learn from that. If you want to ever forward, move forward, then you have to recognize that what is done is done. I mean, it's my most popular quote is what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way because it didn't. Hence, when I was at dinner with a lunch with this guy in Orange County couldn't have happened any way because it didn't I'm here, you had in any way because it didn't I'm here, you had no choice, and that's very humbling, right. So then you start to realize, okay, whatever's transpired, even if I quote unquote don't like it, didn't want it, it hurt, I get it, that's fine, and maybe there's an opportunity to have some counsel, to speak to a therapist, to talk to a friend, to get over it, to be complete with it and to be done with it. That can be very therapeutic, but nonetheless, the event itself is complete. You know it's, it's, it's.

50:01 This is a tough thing to share and I hope people take it within the context of what I'm sharing it, which is I worked with someone for a while before I said this to her right, meaning this was a client who had gone through some abhorrent things which I don't condone at all, which is child molest. She was sexually abused when she was young, but now she's a mid 40s, 44, 45 year old woman who was, quote unquote, stuck in life right Third marriage curtains figuratively, literally closed in her house, didn't want to be part of life anymore and so but the events that transpired which, again, to reiterate, are abhorrent, disgusting finished when she was around 12 or 14. And so what I said to her within context is that for those few years that quote unquote you were being molested. Disgusting. If you were my child, god forbid what I would have done to that person if I'd found them right. That's just a human reaction. But I said, for the last years you've been the one molesting yourself. Now, that's hard to hear, but it's nonetheless empowering to own. And when she got it again within the context of this is not just like I shared in four minutes, this is many sessions so she could get to the place of being fully accountable and responsible for her life today as a woman in the face of some really tragic history. So her brain because of the survival instincts, not feeling safe, not going to be okay, all of the things, again, that we would totally understand when a child goes through that in the way that now she was relating to life was appropriate for the event, not appropriate for her life. And that's where the freedom came in and for her like an immense amount of relief where she could allow her history to be where it is which is behind her again. I'll give you one example which is a lot more benign, so hopefully it helps people.

51:46 But I was working with one of my pga guys at a golf event and my guy happened to be I think he was tied for first or he was coming in playing. Well, the media were waiting by the 18th hole to interview him based on his round and I was standing there to meet him as his quote-unquote mind guy and one of the main anchors of the golf channel knew me and he said hey, I've heard about your work. I see your guys are doing really well, congratulations. I said thank you very much. He said I would love, if you're down, to just sit down with you and have a coffee and share um, some things. I said sure, he says, because I've got a lot of things in my past is what he said. And I said, no, you don't. And so he was a bit confused. I said they're with you right now. If they were in your past you wouldn't have to sit down, talk to me, and he really got it right wow, yeah, so that's the issue.

52:35 it's not so much that what happened in your history, it's just that you actually haven't allowed it to stay there, and that's okay. That's human, because there can be a lot of trauma associated with events that, sadly, many people go through. But we at least want to speak accurately about what you're fighting. You're not fighting your history. You're fighting your memory of your history, which is only evidence to confirm why you feel what you feel about yourself, in this case, some form of inadequacy or insecurity I can't add anything to that.

53:02 - Speaker 1 I feel like you put it a nice little bow on that concept. But I just want to reiterate really, if we feel like we can't move forward right here, right now, yeah it's not the here, and the now that is the probably the main problem. It's not the here and the now that warrants the most amount of focus and work.

53:20 It's that period in time last year, 10 years ago last week, five minutes ago that is really that hard line in the sand, that wall that's keeping you stuck back. Then it's just we are only here in the now and the present in time. Another reason, another area I feel like a lot of people probably can't move forward in their life and I've been there for sure is that even after making these decisions, or even after choosing to build a life of our design and we have all the best intentions we do the quote, unquote right things, things still don't go our way, things don't go according to plan, even though we build a perfect quote again system the best routines, the best support system.

54:02 What do we do then? What do we do when our worst case scenario seems to just keep popping up?

54:08 - Speaker 2 I mean notice the why, right? Because when, when I talk to people, again, I try to use as much lightheartedness and humor because, let's face it, being human, we're all pretty fucked, but, you know, it's nice to have a little humility for all of us. There's my thumbnail. Yeah, I certainly haven't looked at life this way. You know, all my life I have my fair share of struggles and fighting my own imagination. But if there's a consistent theme, like you know, all my life, I have my fair share of struggles and fighting my own imagination. But if there's a consistent theme, like you know, with whatever it is relationships, health, finances that people notice that they have in their life, let's, like you know, quintessential stereotype of a woman goes from a relationship where, you know, again, I am not a stand for this, but you know, if there's a little bit of abuse God forbid it's maybe physical, but then she goes to another guy and then it's more emotional, but and then the next guy, it's more psychological, but the theme is I'm being abused.

54:59 - Speaker 1 So then the question we just think it gets a little bit less and less worse.

55:03 - Speaker 2 So that's where I could say there's that linear progression, but it's not vertical, it's not like really transformative, right, it's just like a subtle improvement. But the consistent theme is what? In this case, this person? Oh look, wherever you go, there you are right.

55:18 - Speaker 1 What's the common denominator?

55:20 - Speaker 2 Yes, so that's the opportunity is go, okay. Well then, who am I? That I am for myself, that has me think, feel and behave in a way that is commensurate with the results that I keep getting. That's the cascade. That's physics, Like you can't tweak. If I pick up a red pen and I get upset that it's not writing in blue, like you know for me, right? So that's how the psyche works, right? It's just that, again, most people when they go and see an expert, specialists and instructors tend to work in the domain of action. Right, don't do this. You need to do this, whether it's a golf swing or I'm working with a baseball player, you're talking to a therapist. Try this in your relationship. Say this it's in the domain of action. Where I work is in the domain of the subconscious, because that's what's driving, not actions down the line. Right, because your subconscious is driving the way that you're the genesis of your thoughts, your conscious thoughts, your conscious thoughts and lead to how you feel.

56:11 Those two combined will lead to the actions you take, right? So until we actually deal with who are you for yourself that drives your thoughts and your feelings that actually create your actions, you're hitting your head up against the wall, which is why most people's quote-unquote you know New Year's resolutions don't stick, because it's a new choice point in action, not in who you are. So that's why most of these self-fulfilling prophecies are consistent and why there is this consistent theme in whatever arena of your life, because the idea of yourself at the deepest level hasn't shifted you're still the same person, trying to do things that are different to the person that you are.

56:50 - Speaker 1 You can't sustain it it. When you break it down like that, it's kind of like no shit. Yes correct. No wonder we're just stuck spinning the hamster wheel.

56:58 - Speaker 2 Yeah, that's why, again, I'm pretty blatant, but also very compassionate and patient, because I understand. Until you see it, it's like duh yeah. And that's why I said there's none so self-righteous as the newly converted right. There's none so self-righteous as the newly converted right. Because the senior said well, yeah, of course. I know. Well, yeah, yeah, but you've been living for decades in the blind spot and you weren't looking so smart then.

57:22 - Speaker 1 It's so true and I always go back to so many fitness analogies in life. That was my background, being a health coach and trainer for so many years, myself included. When we find find fitness, we are born again. We are the disciples of the, the best way to live and healthy living. You're a completely different person and you are great. Good for you, but it's just like shut the fuck up, yeah and it and it's cute.

57:48 - Speaker 2 it's again that word adorable because, at the end of the day, most of us are being informed by the narrative of a scared and hurt five-year-old who's just trying to do the best to what Be loved and accepted. That's it. I mean it's really kind of cute For whatever means that the person has to use infinite filters on Instagram to the mechanisms of charades that we use as humans to sound good, look good, from makeups to clothing, like it's. If you really break it down, it's the person just asking to be loved and accepted.

58:24 - Speaker 1 Well, what got us here won't keep us here and it won't get us there. What I'm referring to is this us there. What I'm referring to is this necessity to constantly? Stay evolving and and grow in the work. How can you describe for us, please, the evolving work necessary in our evolution, in in pursuit of this life of our own dream?

58:47 - Speaker 2 um, I mean, it's a dissolution process, right? Like I always jokingly tell people, I don't solve any problems, I dissolve them.

58:54 - Speaker 1 Which is an incredible and appreciated different interpretation. We want our problems solved. But, what is the difference if we choose to go? I want my problems dissolved.

59:07 - Speaker 2 So a problem is really all that is is a circumstance. That, fundamentally I'm resisting, if we really want to break it down into some sort of formulaic understanding of what. What is what denotes a problem? Because I would assert and this might be hard for people to hear there's no problems in reality, none, there's just circumstance. And some of them are really quote-unquote, fucking hard and difficult and challenging, but they're just circling it circumstances, not a problem.

59:31 The problem is born of my relationship to circumstance. My relationship to circumstance is given by my perspective, which is again coming back to my subconscious and the who that I am for myself, in the way that I relate to things. You know, for somebody else's, what is it? Treasure at somebody else's trials, or I'm paraphrasing terribly, yeah, someone else's trash is someone else's treasure, something like that within that realm, right? So again, it's all perspective.

59:56 So when you understand that problems outside of us are really just life, what we call life, the manifest experience of our circumstance, so then the opportunity again, if you think that you have problems is it's too late in the cascade, right? Because if you think about how anything comes into existence, as I was saying earlier, subconscious idea of ourself, what I call ego is the generator of the thoughts that you're aware of, the feelings that are associated with that, that drive the behaviors that then are the precursor to all the outcomes which we're now calling our life. So if you can understand that cascade, then the problems we have you're aware of, if you're aware of, if you're aware of they've already happened. If they've already happened, then we've already gone through that cascade, right? So, in order to have a quote-unquote different life, it's not incumbent upon us, even though this is what most people try to do, which is changing their circumstances. But you're not realizing the person that created your circumstances is the blind spot of who you are for yourself.

01:00:50 - Speaker 1 You start to see why people fucking drink so much at this point they're like I give up, you know what, I'm just, I'm good with who I am.

01:00:57 - Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know who the hell this guy is, but I'm confused. Yeah, no, I promise you I'm trying to help. So the problems again are based purely in that cascade of how things come into existence. We're creative beings. It's just that most people's process of creation is reactive. It's's still a creation process, but it's against what you don't want. Literally, most people are trying to create a life which is the opposite of what they don't want. They want to create money. Why? Because I don't want to be in debt. They want to get in shape. Why? Because I think I'm overweight? I want to find a relationship. Why? Because I think I'm alone and I don't like it. So whenever you're the, the desire of your life is the antagonist of the antagonist of the life that you don't want, then you're actually perpetuating the life you don't want. Oh, wow, yeah, everyone's like oh, my god, no one I'm so fucked.

01:01:44 I literally met with somebody who's trying to get pregnant and I was explaining to her why she's not and she's like, oh my god, I'm not, I can't guarantee you will, but at least now you have a chance because of the language, the energy and all of this. And she said, like why the fuck are you 20?

01:01:59 years ago, which is the line I get quite a lot. But yeah, so that's why the whole realm of problems? I'm not sure if I fully answered that question, but you know they're too late in the chain of creation itself, right, all you can look at is understand the process of creation. Okay, why do I keep getting x outcome? And then you can reverse engineer it, you know, go, okay, well, I did this particular result before. I mean, it's like I love playing golf, right? So why did my ball slice to the right?

01:02:24 There's, there's, that's physics. That's not because you're a bad golfer, it's just that you swung the club the way you swung the club. Now, there could be all sorts of things that contribute to that, in this case the plane of the club, the face angle, the attack angle, much of which could do with the fact that maybe the guy doesn't have good external rotation of his shoulder, right, because you can't actually open up the club to bring it into shallow blah, blah. That's the physics, but it's a phenomenon. Going back to the context of this room, where he's functioning within the space of what his anatomy will allow. Now it gets even more slippery within the mindset of he knows that he's sliced a lot on this particular hole where the water's on the left, right, also on the right. So he aims more left because that's now a reaction to the history that he doesn't want to repeat, which is actually opening him up more to create a bigger slice.

01:03:11 - Speaker 1 We're all fucked all right, so we just went into the quantum realm of podcasting.

01:03:17 - Speaker 2 Uh, ant-man's gonna pop out at any second now yeah, but you start to see and that's why, again, it's kind of adorable we're really not that advanced as a species. I mean, like if an advanced civilization they're always talking about alien invasion, which we clearly know is obviously fabricated for the most part, like anything else in this life. But I'm like why the fuck would you shoot these people? Like that just speaks to like the fight or flight, like state of humanity truly if they're flying around the fucking universe, chances are they're way smarter than us.

01:03:45 We might want to just listen bare minimum, absolutely, yeah right, it's like no kill because again everyone's in survival mode, so everything is a perceived threat that's the american way, right?

01:03:55 - Speaker 1 fucking blast the shit out of everything because we're so evolved.

01:03:59 - Speaker 2 But anyway, get off my soapbox great soapbox.

01:04:03 - Speaker 1 Great soapbox to shift gears a little bit. Um, to hear you give these answers and kind of just explain certain things and give your experience and expertise. I hear so much focus and you're so like locked on target, so to speak. How do you do that? How do you stay focused? How do you just stay so dialed into these trains of thought to kind of come to these explanations or realizations or questions.

01:04:29 - Speaker 2 That's a great question. No one's actually really asked that. They pointed out in different ways, so I assert that it's the byproduct of presence, right?

01:04:39 - Speaker 1 so attention comes from more presence yes.

01:04:42 - Speaker 2 So the degree to which I'm present is the degree to which I am focused, the degree to which I say I have an intimate relationship with reality. Right in lay terms, what does that mean? I'm here, I'm fucking here, I'm here, yeah, right, wow, yeah. And people feel that when they're in my presence, right, I'm with now, not all the time. If I'm rushing, I'm late for something, or if I'm at an airport and I see a friend but I'm running to my gate like we're on hold with my present might be.

01:05:07 Hey, I love you, I'm fucking gotta go that's the best amount of presence I got right now. Um, so, but yes, focus. This is why, also, I, many people who know me, are like your memory is insane. It's not, it's a byproduct of being where I am when I'm there, because if you think about in terms of what we attend to, right, so let's again.

01:05:28 I like using sports metaphors because I work with so many athletes. But if a guy is at the plate facing a pitcher and this is at the major league level, where they're the best of the best around the world and they're being paid literally millions of dollars to perform, the pitcher who, equally, is a phenom in what he can do, may be struck out. This particular hitter in their last time that they saw each other. So now the hitter, if he's in in the box and part of what he's attending to, his, his memory of the last outing with that picture, much of his ability to perform is already compromised. Because if our 100 capacity to be here is, without staying the obvious 100, now that's going to vary from individual to individual depending on their iq, their eq, etc in their experience, but everybody's capacity fully present is their full capacity.

01:06:17 But many people, especially as you get good at things. You can kind of disappear a little bit and still like think about driving, like when somebody first I know growing up for me, growing up in england, we had to learn stick right. It's not automatic vehicles. So when you're first learning to drive, I certainly was very, very focused on what the fuck I was doing my first car too, yeah yeah, I mean you like, am I pressing the clutch at the right time too much?

01:06:42 have I let it up? If I change there's so much attention it's actually exhausting, it's a draining form of attention. So, but then nowadays I mean you, you're on the fucking four or five or wherever you are, you like look across and there's someone on the phone doing the makeup, eating a fucking sandwich, while they're driving, like there's not much attention.

01:06:59 - Speaker 1 No one's here. I look around and this drives me crazy in in the car but also, you know, I all I see is people walk around doing this and the more and more I see people not here and specifically more on their phone when they're not on a phone call or being present on their phone as an as an intentional action. Yeah, it is the biggest cue for me to drop in even more. Yeah, it drives me nuts and this is a personal thing.

01:07:22 - Speaker 2 I guess I'm working on, but no one is here yeah no one's here yeah, absolutely, and then they wonder why their life doesn't work or they don't feel fulfilled. So this again in response to your question, which is a beautiful one the degree to which I'm able to elicit experience and display this degree of focus is because I'm here, I'm not attending to anything else, right, and I'm not saying that's easy. If people are really interested in presence, which certainly my high performers that's the only thing they're interested in, because that's what they might call flow state or being in the zone. It really is synonymous with just being present. Right, you've got everything. All your faculties are attending to what you're actually doing. So if people are truly interested in that, well, how do we get there?

01:08:05 We have to reconcile past and future, which again, is the dysfunctional relationship to time that I spoke to earlier, because most people are stuck in time, they've got things unresolved from their history, so they're living in a place of hurt, which is usually something that's, you know, past trauma or things that happen that they were disappointed, even their own failures, but they haven't completed, they're not done with, which then tends to through one of my quotes I say that past hurt informs future fear. So anything that's incomplete in our history tends to inform the future than now that we're trying to avoid. So now, the predominant two emotions that humans live with is hurt, unreconciled history, scared, a fulfilled future that they're hoping to avoid so then the question for me?

01:08:48 - Speaker 1 there, I feel like I know the answer, the analogy of stepping up to the plate.

01:08:54 It's like quite literally for your clients, for athletes. But when we step up to the plate in life, when we know I've got to go do this thing, that the last time this happened I didn't succeed, I didn't perform as well, I got hurt, it didn't meet my expectations and I now have to go relive it, I have to try again, but I'm not coming up to the plate here and now. I'm coming up to the plate here and then. What is the one thing we can do? To leave then back then and show up to the plate present here and now, by realizing you can't do anything about, then you literally can't change what happened.

01:09:33 - Speaker 2 Now what's powerful is, you can change your relationship to what happened. How do we do that? By recognizing that most people's identities, as I said, that you, that you are for yourself, is founded on the evidence from your history to sustain it, right? So if what I did proves now that I'm an, I'm a loser, I'm an idiot, I'm a failure, you know, which now perpetuates that person's idea of their future that they're trying to avoid, that's where you can go. Oh no, just because I did X didn't mean that I was a loser, it just meant that I did X.

01:10:02 So it's the emotional attachment to the history, it's not the event itself, because we all for sure, by virtue of being human, fucked up. We sucked at things. We, being human, fucked up. We sucked at things. We didn't do things well, we said things that hurt people's feelings. You know, we certainly were hurt by people, whatever it is. So we now get to realize that it's not so much of what we did but the fact that we use it as evidence to sustain the limiting belief about ourselves. So once you get rid of that, then you literally change your relationship to your history. You don't change the event right. So to answer a question about how can people be here, not there? Well, first of all, you have to understand, just through the pure logic of understanding, the nature of life, which is it's never stopping, it's ever moving that what again?

01:10:44 My quote it's like what happened happened and couldn't happen any other way because it didn't. I mean, it's such a moving story. This guy who tried to kill himself I I don't know how many times and eventually the last attempt got him into hospital. It was the closest he got. He didn't. Thankfully he didn't do it, but he had a number of scars on his forearms from cutting himself. I guess he heard me on a podcast very similar to this, heard me say that quote what happened happened, couldn't have happened any other way because it didn't, and it moved him so much that he really got it. He's like, oh my gosh, whatever I've done, that was the failures that led to me thinking I'm a loser and I should take my life and the woe is me and whatever, including the attempts to kill myself, which were also fraught with failure. I couldn't even do that right. All of it was what happened and he found it, so he literally tattooed across all of his scars.

01:11:31 Oh's beautiful that quote isn't that amazing. Yeah, so that's the, that's the access to now is to realize that what's done is done. You know, it's not one of my quotes, it's um byron katie. She said uh, my favorite thing about the past is it's over absolutely now?

01:11:49 absolutely. That's easy to say, but for most people it isn't, because and this, again, is where the forgiveness and compassion comes in we use our history as evidence for the who we are today that is founded in limitation. When that person that you think you are is dissolved, disintegrated with all you know, love and compassion annihilated, then your history is irrelevant. It's only relevant to the evidence that you need to sustain the limited version of yourself today. Yeah, and that's why most people are so attached.

01:12:25 - Speaker 1 That comes back to that ultimate addiction it also, personally, kind of makes me think of anytime I look at a person in my life now my spouse, a friend, family member. As we go through life, certain triggers are going to come up. We might remember something that makes us think about a time when they hurt us or there was a betrayal, or just anything other than pleasant. Other than pleasant.

01:12:56 And one way that I have really been able to navigate out of those ruminating thoughts of the past is I immediately go to? Who are they to me now and when I go? Oh, I love my wife.

01:13:03 I love my brother, I love this friend, what we have right now serves my life in such an immense way. I wouldn't have it any other way, and I think, to kind of summarize all this, it really is a matter of our ability to fully become present to help us appreciate what we have and to keep the past in the past. And to your point earlier, how do you remember so many things, people? How do you recall all this stuff Is when you are more present, here and now, the past becomes more dissolvable and the future becomes more memorable, because you're able to just like stay in touch with both.

01:13:37 - Speaker 2 Yeah, and think about it just in a very simple physical analogy. You know everyone's used the term baggage. They've got a lot of baggage. What does that speak to? It means to things that are unresolved, right, they're carrying a lot of emotional load, traumas, failures, disappointments and now we're using the under the auspices of the term baggage. Okay, well, now look at it in terms of what you can attend to, which could be another way of what can you hold right, literally, figuratively. Remember, well, if you're holding a bunch of, you know, if you've got like 17 louis vuitton bags of fucking past traumas, you don't have much room to hold much more I got a lot of trauma but man, it's a great bag.

01:14:10 - Speaker 1 Great bag, it's classy, it's packaged really nice. I got some real style.

01:14:15 - Speaker 2 I got some Louis Vuitton. I mean, let's face it, everyone who talks about their woes, there's always a fucking great story, right, like I mean yeah.

01:14:22 - Speaker 1 We do that, don't we? We do that. We spend so much time and effort, and maybe even money, on making our baggage look so good. I mean, what's the expression to?

01:14:33 - Speaker 2 it never let the facts get in the way of a good story. Yeah, because, again, listen, I love quotes and I say that, you know, being right is the poor man's version of self-worth. All right, right, and so what are people being right about with their history? Is like, look, this is why I fucked up, this is why I'm not where I'm supposed to be, this is why I'm alone, this is why I'm not rich. Is I've got the evidence for it? Like, so, even though they don't have the life they want? This is how insane the ego is. It would rather be right, because at least it's a form of self-worth, at least I.

01:15:04 I mean, listen I remember tangible thing, I can plant my flag here yes, I, I remember working with a pj golfer so talented and everybody under the sun, and certainly within the realm of golf, would say you know, he's one of these quintessential phenoms who hasn't realized his potential, which we could argue for many, pretty much every human being, but anyway, certainly as a golfer with his talent, and so he worked with me our first year together. He more than doubled his winnings.

01:15:30 That's pretty significant if you're a company in this case, you know a contractor and then, but he was like he still hadn't got a one, a win, and so he said candy for me, and so I love this guy. But he once took, he was on the green. I handed him the putter. He said watch me three putters. Now for the people who aren't golf aficionados, you don't want a three part, I do. You want a one part, because that usually speaks to a birdie. You know you're getting a lower score.

01:15:56 Two-part is a par, typically if you're on the green in regulation. Three-part is a bogey, you know. So basically, in lay terms, not good. So he said watch me, three-part this. Now that's an automatic response to, to a deeper fear of not fulfilling on intention right. So this is the self-sabotaging mechanisms that people witness in their life, maybe not understand, but hopefully through this example they can. So what he's literally saying, albeit unconsciously, is like look deep down, I'm scared that this is a long part, it's a tricky part. I might not get it down in two, but what I'm gonna do is I've got a contingency. This is the disclaimer. If I say watch me, three-part that if I do, even though that's terrible and we don't want that in golf and it's certainly not good for my career and I'm not going to make money and I'm not going to make the all the things.

01:16:42 - Speaker 1 But at least I was right. At least I was right yeah.

01:16:45 - Speaker 2 I mean, you start to see the insanity. It's, it's idiotic, it's, but that's also the stubbornness right of the ego is that it will fight for its survival. And when you understand why? Because it's fictitious, it has to fight for itself.

01:17:01 - Speaker 1 Because it's based on pretense, it's based on lies so I'm kind of taking away from this and um. I then want to get into my final question with you. Sure is, if we, if we want to look at our life objectively, if we feel like we're killing it, you know kind of bring it full circle, we look in the mirror, we're like I'm so happy, I'm so proud. You know, I've so evolved, I'm doing all these things or I'm miserable, I'm fucking up, I keep making the same mistakes, I'm not growing, I'm not all these things you know.

01:17:28 I think if we choose to go to first and most, where are we just going? I'm right, whether we think we are evolving or not, we're moving forward or not. If we go to where we think we are right, start there, because that is to your point. That is just keeping us stuck, that is the ego just going.

01:17:51 - Speaker 2 I'm so much happier if I can just say and feel and know that I'm right than anything than actually being in truth and in alignment with the life that I want and committed to what's available to all of us on the other side of those constraints, right, because that can also be kind of that's intimidating, that can be scary, like people know, even if it's discomforting. They're familiar with the patterns that, albeit are self-sabotaging, discomforting, lead to dysfunction in relationships, perhaps not the fattest bank account, and some maybe you know, thrown a couple of health issues like at least I know how to manage that, right, that's why we don't have a health care system. We have a sick care system. They're not interested in people being healthy. That's the worst thing for business, right. But words are very seductive. So people think you go and see a healthcare provider who's actually an expert in pathology. Doctors are good people, nurses but they learn pathology and then their intervention is pharmacology. That's got nothing to do with health throw the right words out.

01:18:45 Absolutely, we believe it yeah, oh, but you've got a white lab coat and a stethoscope, you know, and you're, uh, I get it. And so that's again where we want to have compassion, but we need to educate people if you want to be healthy. That would be akin to me taking one of my baseball players to a hitting coach and he's like, well, who is this guy? I said, oh, he's the best guy in striking out. Well, why the fuck would I go and see that guy?

01:19:06 Right, that's like going to see a doctor about health now for infections, trauma and you, where you need intervention with emergencies and fucking amazing, they save people's lives. Like credit where credit's due. I'm just saying, don't confuse that with health. So the same thing for people who are being right about their shortcomings. You're not living a life where you're saying I'm committed to being fill in the blank, you know, in a passionate, loving, intimate, beautiful relationship. I'm not committed to being vital and strong and healthy. I'm not committed to being vital and strong and healthy. I'm not committed to being abundant. No, that's okay, you're saying that, but your energy and your subconscious patterns are completely committed to the antithesis of all of those things. And when you see the delta, the differential between those two.

01:19:47 - Speaker 1 That's when you know something's up, man well, I mean, I already have so many other ideas. Um, we either need to go another couple more hours or I can't wait to have you back down the road here, but to bring it home to the theme of the show. To ask you straight up yeah how do we move forward in life, how do we live a life ever forward? What do those two words mean to you here today?

01:20:08 - Speaker 2 um, I mean, I'm gonna guess you've never heard anyone say this, but I would say ever forward means ever present.

01:20:16 - Speaker 1 I've had that a couple times actually and kind of a new interpretation of my own actually.

01:20:22 - Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. So ever forward, because I get it and it's a beautiful like intention, right. But I think if you look at the nature of life, life is in constant flux. When I really learned through my studies of ayurveda, health is a dynamic state. It's not a passive state where you don't reach health and you're like, boom, the weight scale is perfect, your skin is glowing, every hair is in perfect position and just stays here and there's like let's stay, like, oh shit, now I've got to eat some food and, you know, go to the bathroom. Like it's always moving, right.

01:20:53 So why, for me, that statement and I love it of being ever forward is, for me, ever present? Because life is in constant movement. It's like a lazy river, right, like life is always moving. It's just to what degree are we intimately present with where we are, versus holding on, literally. Imagine a lazy river where, well, no, I like this part of my life, so I'm going to hold on, but the river's constantly pulling. That's exhausting. Or trying to get to this idealized one day future where you're paddling against life, albeit seemingly in the same direction, but it's still exhausting. So, in order to be ever forward is to be ever present. How to be ever present is to be complete with your history.

01:21:33 - Speaker 1 I love that interpretation, thank you. There's never a right or a wrong answer, but over the last year, maybe even two, that has been, like I said, my kind of personal new reinterpretation of ever-forward. I realized I spent so many years and necessary right, it wouldn't have been any other way. Right, it all had to happen the way that it did. I spent so many years, so much time, so much energy, so much money focusing on moving forward and just driving on leaving the past in the past and just go, go, go, go go. The way that I have just dropped into so much synchronicity with truly the life that I love and that I have been trying so hard to build is realizing that I don't need to always be the one in motion.

01:22:14 - Speaker 2 no, because if I am or I'm not, the rest of the world and everybody else around me are yeah, so I can just drop in in the right current and I'm still going to be going upstream exactly and if I can speak to without getting into the personal you know knowing a little bit of your history you know, I would assert that oftentimes, the things that we come up with like this beautiful intention and you even spoke to it, so it's not like you're oblivious to this, but the ever forward for you was really, as you said, to leave your past behind, oh yeah, which has got a connotation of it's hard, it hurt. I don't want to have to deal with that right. So oftentimes, when people really look at what is propelling them in life, it's they're trying to get away from something, and that is ironically meaning you are actually dragging it with you.

01:23:01 - Speaker 1 This other kind of analogy I use is when I had that realization. It was I was moving forward in life, but all I was doing was just adding another link on a chain to a ball that was keeping me stuck in the past.

01:23:13 - Speaker 2 It's your Louis Vuittons, baby yeah. So that's why, for me, ever present and I get it the connotation leave your past behind. You don't have to, it's already behind. The question is, which part of you is holding onto it to give validation to the identity that you have become misassociated with?

01:23:30 - Speaker 1 I'm getting too excited. I got to kill it. We're going to just keep going. But, peter, I want to say thank you again for coming on the show. Where can my audience go to learn more about you and your work? It'll all be listed in the show notes and the YouTube box, the description box but where are you hanging out the most? Where do you go to these days?

01:23:43 - Speaker 2 Thank you, sure chrome. My uh website is petercronecom, and the thing I'm most excited about that people are jumping into now is my membership platform we made super affordable.

01:23:58 - Speaker 1 Uh, it's just 29 bucks a month and they can get so much more of like what we talked about today uh, right now, about 60 plus hours of my free your mind program, uh, program on anxiety, depression, relationships, health.

01:24:09 - Speaker 2 I do a monthly q a which addresses questions from the community. Yeah, that's, that's my, you know, because I have a lot of program. My mastermind is incredible three month. It's a container where I lead it, so it's a lot more higher barrier to entry in terms of costs and people are like we want to access your work and so I just wanted to make something super affordable so well.

01:24:27 - Speaker 1 They've got this. You're on so many other amazing podcasts you know, we're recently. I was joking you get a punch card here in the operation podcast videos. You know there's like your third or fourth one, yeah here, shout out Emily Hayden and Michael Chernow yeah, so many great shows amazing. Dr G recently. Yeah, well, again, thank you, it's been an honor to have you here and look forward to sitting down with you again, hopefully in the future thanks for having me, man.